Edition:
March 12, 2010
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Teen Reporter, The Friday Flyer
Stupid people are really becoming an annoyance to me. And I don't mean intellectually challenged people. I mean those with less common sense than a dead rodent. Honestly, can you say that you've never wanted to scream, "Go jump off the face of the planet!" at a few people in your lifetime? Really, it amazes me how some people are almost too senseless to function.
Just the other day, I was talking with some friends and one of them came up to me with a phone and told me to watch what he had on the screen. It was a newscast about a woman who called 911 to report that she had locked herself in her own car. The newscaster said the dispatcher answered the call by saying, "Did you try pulling up on the locks?" To this the woman replied, "Will that work?
Really?! I mean, I’ve heard of a blonde moment – I have them quite frequently – but that’s just ridiculous. It also makes me wonder how someone that incredibly air-headed was able to get a driver’s license in the first place.
I know this shouldn’t really hit me personally, because this woman was on the East Coast and I most likely have absolutely no tie to her whatsoever, but I am baffled by the fact that this woman is still alive. You’d think she’d forget to hold her breath underwater or something if she’d pull a stunt like locking herself inside her own car.
I’ll admit, though, the Internet is my favorite place to go when I’m in the mood to watch idiots get hurt. I can’t even tell you how many “I wonder if it’s a good idea to do this” videos I’ve seen. And who doesn’t enjoy watching a few people fall on their faces every once in a while?
People on the Internet who put themselves in harm’s way for my personal entertainment? Thank you, but no thank you. It’s time to stop before what little brain cells they have left are fried from microwaving boxes of wine to see what happens. By the way, no, it’s not a good idea to try that. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.
Maybe it’s just me, but the more stupid people I see in the world, the more I’m tempted to call them out on it. Like this:
Dear stupid people of the world,
Wise up.
Thank you.
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