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November 20, 2009
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Movie Reviewers, The Friday Flyer
Step aside Irwin Allen, the newly crowned and undisputed Master of Disaster is Roland Emmerich. “2012” is the most destructive, devastating and cataclysmic blockbuster ever made, and we mean that in a good way. John Cusack and Amada Peet lead a sizeable cast, but the real star is Emmerich, who produced, directed and co-wrote this spectacle.
Building on his classic “Independence Day” and borrowing from “Titanic” and even “Evan Almighty,” Emmerich destroys the world again. Actually, the world doesn’t really end; it just ends as we know it. You see, the sun aligns with the Milky Way every 25,800 years and the Mayan calendar seems to stop at the end of 2012. So, “stuff’s gonna ‘splode.”
Now, you wonder why anyone would put so much credence in a calendar made in Mexico, but the ancient Mayans were incredibly advanced in science and astronomy. There’s some debate as to whether the Mayan calendar really ends then, but who cares? Using over-the-top action, visual effects and booming audio, the story is just a flimsy excuse to chase our heroes around the globe like a high tech video game.
Way back in 2009, scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor, “American Gangster”) discovers a series of solar eruptions melting the earth’s core. We hate when that happens. With some intricate calculations, it is determined the earth’s expiration date is stamped 12/21/12. So, the U.S. leads a secret three-year plan with the other world leaders to save our species. Sounds like a meaningful way to earn a Nobel Peace Prize.
President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover) carefully monitors the situation but relies heavily on his Armageddon Czar Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt), who seems a little too comfortable with that much power. The President’s daughter Laura, played by Thandie Newton is in charge of saving as many of the earth’s artistic treasures as possible. But, all of this must be done under the cloak of secrecy to avoid widespread panic.
Meanwhile, in Manhattan Beach, struggling author Jackson Curtis (Cusack) plans a camping trip with his kids, who live with their mom, Kate (Peet). Along the way they meet crazed lunatic Charlie Frost, played by crazed lunatic Woody Harrelson. Charlie broadcasts a kooky message that the world will soon end, but it seems to make sense.
Initially, the earth shows some gradual instability. Los Angeles experiences a few small earthquakes, so what else is new? Soon, the streets have more cracks than Canyon Lake Dr. South. Then, as the heat from below becomes so unbearable, they learn that Hell has no fury like . . . well . . . like Hell. So, the wild, noisy, relentless thrill ride begins.
Naturally, N.Y. is totally annihilated. And, we just knew L.A. would cause a tremendous commotion by the ocean. If you think real estate values are low now, stay tuned. But, Emmerich is just getting started. This devastation will be worldwide. In the end, the body count and structure obliteration is higher than any other movie in history.
John Cusack and Amanda Peet are not the typical A list stars you’d expect in such a blockbuster, but they are both likeable seasoned actors who are indeed ready for prime time. Oliver Platt is consistently believable as the annoying bureaucrat and Chiwetel Ejiofor holds his own as the scientist. The plot has more holes than our ozone layer, but “2012” is simply one of the most thrilling and entertaining action adventures ever.
“2012” is rated PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language. It is a long 158 minutes, so we recommend the huge tub of popcorn and a big gulp. Then, settle in for the intense non-stop action that will make this an instant classic. Sure, there’s a lot of devastation, but for what it’s worth, the carnage is bloodless and mostly non-personal.
The rich always have an advantage in dire situations. In this case, they are offered safe passage if they cough up millions of dollars ($100 less from Ontario). With the end of the world predicted by so many religious organizations, the heated argument about global warming is now moot. If that’s the case, we can finally tell Al Gore to go cool his heels.
Ron’s Rating: A- Leigh’s Rating: A
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